June 2008
Old posts
-
06.30.08Peter Pan and night before nerves
T
his is Emma, shot a while ago as part of the series of ‘bedroom’ portraits. I hadn’t met her before the shoot, she was the flat mate of a girl called Amy that took the same course as me. However she was quite a fun person to shoot, she reminded me of a pixie because of her features or perhaps Peter Pan because of her fun child like personality but she was unsure of getting her photograph taken and tried to hide behind a mask she had in her room. Needless to say I eventually got the photograph I wanted with a shadow that bares a striking resemblance to that of Peter Pan.
My stay at home wasn’t as bad as I thought it would have been, I kept myself occupied by eating and watching trashy tv on my macbook. I’ve been back at the flat for a few days now, by myself I might add as my flat mates are both visiting parents and what not, so I’ve been pretty bored with little to do with my days. I’m supposed to be going to London on friday for a ‘blythe doll meet’ that is happening in Hyde Park on sunday but I’m not sure if I’m able to make it mostly because I have a job interview tomorrow with a well known men’s fashion store, it’s only for eight hours a week but it is a start I guess. If I get it I’ll probably be getting asked to work the weekend which will mean me having to miss the doll meet which I’m a bit glum about because I’ve never been to one and was really looking forward to it, but I need a job more and thats how life goes I guess.
I’m so worried about the interview I probably won’t sleep tonight, I’ve been going over and over in my head what to say to the questions I assume they will ask. I think I’m more worried about this than my interview at LCF, I’m not sure why though. I guess at least at LCF I had something to show them and could judge their reactions right away, there weren’t any right or wrong answers either I suppose. The ball was very much in my court in that situation and surrounding, I’m fully used to interviews about art and photograph, not so used to one’s about retail though. I guess I can just hope that my nerves don’t get the best of me and that the place isn’t busy I have been known to crumble when I’m on my own in busy places and having a panic attack in the middle of showing people how I use a till probably wouldn’t reflect well.
06.22.08Not living LohanI
‘m supposed to be going home for a few days tomorrow and though I haven’t been back in at least two months it’s not like I’m overly excited about it. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents completely, but home seems different now since moving out whenever I go back it doesn’t feel like the same place.
There’s always something little about the place that has changed and my bedroom has transformed from a space that was mine, into a place for my parents to keep their junk. It’s a battle to get to my bed now and the place no longer feels like it’s mine. It’s a very strange feeling, I still feel at home but its just incredibly strange to see the place that I lived in since I was born as a place that isn’t mine anymore.
When I was young I always thought the place would always be mine, that i’d be there forever that that bedroom would always be decorated exactly how I wanted, containing all of the objects that make up my personality but now all of the objects are somewhere else, and I hate to say it and I’d probably never say it to my parents because it would break their hearts but I could never move back home because it really doesn’t feel like my home anymore.
One thing that really terrifies me, more than most things is going back there now I can suddenly see that they’ve aged. I used to not notice it at all, and them both being quite young looking for their age it never concerned me but now I don’t see them often, when I go back I can see it and I just have this terrible fear at the back of my mind that one day I’m going to go back home and they’re going to look old. Old person old, with grey hair and wrinkles. I know in the back of my brain this will happen eventually, I can’t keep them young looking forever but the older I myself get the more I have to realise that they won’t be here forever and that thought is both upsetting and scary.
Speaking of home life I watched four episodes of ‘Living Lohan’ last night, mostly to feed my Lindsay Lohan curiosity. She isn’t in it though, of course - plenty of name drops of her from her mother and sister though but other than that it is almost like she doesn’t exist to them. All in all the program passed the time, but god Ali Lohan is annoying she annoying and bratty I mean I’ll cut her some slack seems as she’s only fourteen but she wears so much make up I swear she must have to throw her head back to open her eyes.
The program itself would be a lot better if it didn’t all feel so set up, there was an episode where Ali was having trouble at school from some ‘Mean Girls’ at least thats how they kept referring to them, and dropping ‘Mean Girls’ references in through out the entire show, it was like ‘just drop it already, we know what movies your other daughter starred in. It’s not like she wrote it, stop using the term like its your own’ and don’t even get me started on the blatantly fake voice overs of girls bullying Ali in the street.
They just seem like the most fake family in the world, but then again I wasn’t respecting much reality from a ‘reality’ program made by E!You’d think also, if they were all so close to Lindsay they’d be able to get her to actually show up in an episode I mean surely she visits or talks to her parents, either way the show would be better with her in it, drugged up to the eyeballs or not it would make much better television.
Though I still say there is direct correlation between her hair and her colour demise, you see if she only dyed her hair back to ginger then her career would once again sky rocket. But let’s just hope for good things from her in ‘Ugly Betty’ and even better things from her with her new album. 06.21.08Hold on
I need to be held so much right now.
06.15.08They just keep getting younger and youngerI
don’t think I should watch programs like ‘Class of 2008′ again, for those of you that are unaware of what that is it’s a BBC program as part of ‘BBC Switch’ which is pretty much aimed at 17-20 year olds, and this particular program is about a group of friends in london trying to make it big. A few of them are models, one of them is Daisy Lowe actually who I fail to see the fascination with, one of them wants to be an actor, one of them is a fashion designer, some are in band and the narator is a dj trying to oraganise his own clubnight.
‘Why should you stop watching programs like that’
Is what you’re probably thinking seems as it doesn’t sound like a bad premise. The reason however why I should stop is that I just sit through the entire episode and seethe to myself. Most of the people I know are like these people, in one way or another trying to make something of themselves. Artists, photographers, designers the whole spectrum they haven’t been approached by the BBC. Maybe it’s because they’re not attractive enough, or don’t go to enough clubs - club kids come out on top it would seem these days. Snort as much coke as you can and you’ll be famous in no time.
I think a part of me gets annoyed at the constant message that to make anything of yourself in the creative industry you have to be in London, it is something constantly pumped into us and anyone on an arts based course. I’m not foolish enough to think it isn’t the hub for the creative arts, but I also know its not as easy as just moving there. People flock there thinking they’ll be there a week and will be the next big thing, and obviously that turns out not to be the case. But even me, who knows this completely sitting watching this program thinks to himself:
‘Damn I need to go to london immediatly, I need to make friends with some ‘hip’ model types, show up to some big events, whore myself out on myspace and then I’ll be world known photographer supreme, and magazines will be queing up for me to shoot for them’
In reality though, it’s hard work and it’s tough. These programs though don’t seem to show this, they show a bunch of teens having a great time - getting all expenses paid trips to Milan to sit and look pretty and if I am deeply honest they make me completely green with envy. I’m not saying that these kids haven’t worked hard to be where they are now, I’m positively sure that they have it’s just programs like this don’t seem to show that at all.
And if I’m brutally honest there will always be a small part of me that wants to be a part of that, a part of this ‘fabulous’ young london life that it would seem constantly gets thrown in my face, even though I know that actually it’s not like that at all most of student life in london involves hard work and being incredibly poor. My getting into LCF was a precursor to that ‘fabulous/incredibly poor’ london life that I seemed to long for before all the shit with government funding hit the fan. I thought I was over all that, but I’m really not I guess a part of me is still bitter and on days like today when I sit incredibly bored with only my thoughts for company I really shouldn’t watch programs that show me what I could be doing with my life ‘if only I lived in london’ which is quite clearly the programs message.
And to top it all off, half of the people in it seem like complete tossers and half of them have been on the front cover of i-D!
06.10.08The end of an era?
T
his is Louise as shot for my ‘bedroom’ series, I had a great time last night with her and a few other people in my class at our final show and it makes me really glad that she’ll be joining me on the third year the course I just wish there were a few more people I get on with staying.
But yes, it’s all over now I guess. Last night was our final exhibition and pretty much marked the end of our two year FD course, there will be some people that I can gladly say will most likely never see again but there are one or two people that when I really think about it I really am going to miss. People are going away, taking themselves off to London to hopefully start a career, or they’re going back home to attempt to do the same and I just always find times like this strange when you realise that you’ve been in the same building as some people for years, sitting in the same rooms but you’ll probably never see them again and I find this depressing even when it concerns people that I don’t find it very productive to be around.
All of this aside it was nice to spend time with the people I like at the final show, and there was quite a few good images to be seen, you’ll be seeing mine soon. It is only two images but they were blown up to A1 and framed, displayed side by side even I was quite shocked at how striking they looked at that size. I’ll find out what my lecturer thought about them tomorrow though, which I can’t say I’m looking forward to especially if she isn’t in a good mood I’m just hoping with it being the last tutorial of this year that it’ll be ending on a good note with her, because despite clashing heads over a fair few things I do quite like her.
In other news summer has finally hit england it would seem, and I’m spending most of the daytime dying from heat exhaustion and trying to get away with wearing as little clothes as possible without being actually naked. It is days like today that i wish I actually suited shorts.
06.06.08Nothing but rain (Summer playlist 2)W
ell since my last music post rejoicing for the return of summer, we’ve had pretty much nothing cold, wind and rain there have been the odd sunny day however but not many. Today though is one of those days, I’m sat on my bed with my headphones on and the sun pouring through the window. I just hope it lasts.
So to get over the rain this week I’ve been listening to a lot of music and I’m a lover of music sharing so here this is my summer playlist number 2 songs to get you through the rain, songs that will make you want to dance in the sun and general jolly sounds of joy. (download links under song samples)
I know these were in my last music post but I would be lying if I didn’t say I’d been waiting weeks to hear Tilly and the Wall’s new album ‘O’ but I have been waiting, rather unpatiently I must say but upon hearing it I am not disapointed in the slightlest. As expected their last single ‘Beat Control’ was just a one off for them in terms of strong electronics and dropping their tap dancing drum beats the new album though is a slight depature from their previous gems with a few songs having a more rocky edge to them but I am glad to say that they have very much kept their tap dancing rhythms that you cant help tapping your own feet along to.
The stand out songs on the album so far for me are probably the most upbeat and happiest, firstly we have ‘Alligator Skin’ which is a jumble of a song but gloriously so, laced with Tilly and the Wall’s usual tapping sounds and overlaid vocals. The there is ‘Dust Me Off’ a song about friendship and love with again an incredible beat that will make you want to move your body. Finally, something completely different is ‘Pot Kettle Black’ a rocker of a song that starts with a whole heap of stomping and slowly builds up its about the 1:30 mark where it really shines for me. I wouldn’t call it a chorus but its cool.
Tilly and the Wall have always seemed to represent summer for me, their songs are so happy and joyful they remind me of the sunshine and beaches and dancing. The mp3’s aren’t the best quality sadly but you really should buy the album, the artwork has been designed by lots of different artists and there is no two the same which is cool - limited though so hurry hurry.Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Alligator Skin - Tilly and the Wall
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Dust me off - Tilly and the Wall
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Pot Kettle Black - Tilly and the Wall
I wouldn’t say I am a huge fan of Frankmusik but after hearing this song I must say I am looking forward to the album release. The song ‘Done Done’ is quite a nice little floaty number with nice electronics and repeating vocal sounds which is something I always love in a song - while it is not overly dancey, or happy the song itself makes nice easy listening without being boring in the slightest. Though his breathy deliverance can be a little annoying at full volume but I’d keep this one on your ipod for late night walks at the beach.Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Elkland are a pretty old band, they split up a while ago one of the members went onto join the less good in my opinion Goat Explosion, however in terms of summer listening Elkland’s album ‘Gold’ is perfect for those fans of electronic music of the none-floaty variety a lot of their songs are fairly catchy and delivered well all be it a bit cheesy.Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
I used to listen to Mates of State quite a lot and have always found their sound rather uplifting and well crafted, their newest album ‘Re-Arrange Us’ is a great addition to their already excellent discography and i’ve been listening to it on a loop over this past week. The single ‘Get Better’ screams summer listening to me, with its upbeat chorus and positive sound. Give it a listen.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
06.01.08The students domain
T
his is Linsay, she lives with a girl that is in my class and I shot her a while back for a series of bedroom portraits I’ve been doing. I must say sometimes it can be quite strange photographing someone you don’t know in their own space, you can’t help but feel like you’re invading and it’s even worse when you’ve got a big old camera and are pointing it in their faces.
Linsay was nice though she had a really small attic room, so small in fact I had to squish myself up against the wall to frame the shot. Discomfort aside I always find peoples bedrooms rather fascinating especially the ones of student’s. There’s just something about the bedroom of a student living in rented accommodation that is always full of personality, maybe I’m just bias because I fall under the category of ’student living in rented accommodation’ but I love the way nearly every students room I’ve seen has been crammed full of their personality, maybe it’s because the space isn’t theirs that they have to make it feel like their own. Or possibly because they share their home with so many other people they need to have a room they can just let their personality take over. Either way I always find them interesting it’s good to have a reason to have a good look around a persons room as well, and having a camera and wanting to take a photograph is a pretty good reason - it makes it feel less like you’re snooping when you’re eying up their posters and record collection.
I’ve spent most of this weekend editing the two images that will be going into the final exhibition show that our class are having, I can’t say I’m totally happy with the images but I never really am. It is taking longer than it should really but I must admit after a while editing pictures turns from enjoyable into tedious and then I have to have a break, which usually ends up with me procrastinating a fair few hours away. Hopefully they’ll both be done and I’ll be happy with them by the time they need printing. After that though it will be the end of college for summer which I am sort of disappointed about though I never thought I’d hear myself say that, summer is exciting of course the hope for the warm weather we never get and trips to the park, but the prospect of being without all of the photographic equipment I am so used to at college is a one I find depressing, no studio, no high quality scanner. I’ve been trying slowly to buy as much of my own equipment as possible but in no way can I afford a set of studio lights right now, so It’ll just be me and my bronica, my metz, copious rolls of unused 120 film I seem to have been collecting and my last pack of polaroid SX-70 blend and possibly a holga thrown in for good measure. Actually it sort of sounds exciting.
