I’m supposed to be going home for a few days tomorrow and though I haven’t been back in at least two months it’s not like I’m overly excited about it. Don’t get me wrong I love my parents completely, but home seems different now since moving out whenever I go back it doesn’t feel like the same place.
There’s always something little about the place that has changed and my bedroom has transformed from a space that was mine, into a place for my parents to keep their junk. It’s a battle to get to my bed now and the place no longer feels like it’s mine. It’s a very strange feeling, I still feel at home but its just incredibly strange to see the place that I lived in since I was born as a place that isn’t mine anymore.
When I was young I always thought the place would always be mine, that i’d be there forever that that bedroom would always be decorated exactly how I wanted, containing all of the objects that make up my personality but now all of the objects are somewhere else, and I hate to say it and I’d probably never say it to my parents because it would break their hearts but I could never move back home because it really doesn’t feel like my home anymore.
One thing that really terrifies me, more than most things is going back there now I can suddenly see that they’ve aged. I used to not notice it at all, and them both being quite young looking for their age it never concerned me but now I don’t see them often, when I go back I can see it and I just have this terrible fear at the back of my mind that one day I’m going to go back home and they’re going to look old. Old person old, with grey hair and wrinkles. I know in the back of my brain this will happen eventually, I can’t keep them young looking forever but the older I myself get the more I have to realise that they won’t be here forever and that thought is both upsetting and scary.
Speaking of home life I watched four episodes of ‘Living Lohan’ last night, mostly to feed my Lindsay Lohan curiosity. She isn’t in it though, of course - plenty of name drops of her from her mother and sister though but other than that it is almost like she doesn’t exist to them. All in all the program passed the time, but god Ali Lohan is annoying she annoying and bratty I mean I’ll cut her some slack seems as she’s only fourteen but she wears so much make up I swear she must have to throw her head back to open her eyes.
The program itself would be a lot better if it didn’t all feel so set up, there was an episode where Ali was having trouble at school from some ‘Mean Girls’ at least thats how they kept referring to them, and dropping ‘Mean Girls’ references in through out the entire show, it was like ‘just drop it already, we know what movies your other daughter starred in. It’s not like she wrote it, stop using the term like its your own’ and don’t even get me started on the blatantly fake voice overs of girls bullying Ali in the street.
They just seem like the most fake family in the world, but then again I wasn’t respecting much reality from a ‘reality’ program made by E!
You’d think also, if they were all so close to Lindsay they’d be able to get her to actually show up in an episode I mean surely she visits or talks to her parents, either way the show would be better with her in it, drugged up to the eyeballs or not it would make much better television.
Though I still say there is direct correlation between her hair and her colour demise, you see if she only dyed her hair back to ginger then her career would once again sky rocket. But let’s just hope for good things from her in ‘Ugly Betty’ and even better things from her with her new album.
